To curse, or not to curse
by Rei Bianca
Summary: not all bad guys, that bad, you know. Let's see what Muraki has to say for himself.
1. Prologue

Note: Hai! I have a big liking towards most of the antagonist characters in any anime and in Yami no Matsuei, I happen to adore Dr. Muraki. Unfortunately, I only manage to watch 2 of its episodes so don't be surprise to see names and events that doesn't exist.  
  
2nd note: Believe me, I love bad guys. If you don't, this story is going to be boring.  
  
  
  
Sitting silently by the window, I stare at the dark and empty sky, Waiting as time passes by slowly, Living like there's no hope for tomorrow...  
  
....tell me. Tell me if there is anyone in this world who resist happiness. Tell me if there is someone who enjoys being alone.  
  
Ever since I was young, I dreamed and hope for a normal life. I envy my friends which has both loving parents. Everytime I see them together, having fun, I burn with jealousy and anger. It's not that I don't have anybody to care, nobody cares.  
  
I was born to this world not to bring joy. Instead adds misery to my mother. Because of me, my father reluctantly married her. Mother obviously was not happy. She used to collect dolls. Porcelain dolls, and then destroys them to ease her anger. At times when she couldn't find any new ones, she would call me. She would treat me like one of her lifeless dolls. Every night, I would curl myself up at the corner of the dark room, trying to sleep, trying to ignore the pains, the bruises and cuts.  
  
My life was a living hell. I tried to kill myself once, but it brought more trouble. She found out. I was locked up inside a room and was almost starved to death. Even locked up, she would constantly tortures and cursed me like everything that happened was my fault. I even tried to poison myself to death. I almost succeeded when someone found me unconsious and was brought to the infirmary. I drank all sorts of poison and taken almost all kinds of drugs until I'm apparently immune to them. I was desparate to end my life.  
  
One day, she died. I didn't know either to rejoice or regret because it was suppose to be me in that coffin and not her. Not long later, father got married. The woman had a son, Saki. For the first time, I had a brother and a friend. Day after day, I tried to talk to him. He ignored me.  
  
Then, something weird occured. It seems that everyday there wasn't any other families that attend funeral except mine. First, it was mother's, then stepmother's and then father's funeral. Soon, It knew it would be me next.  
  
That night, it was a full moon. Standing only a few inches in front of me was Saki. His stare seemed to pierce through my heart. I sat motionless on the floor, waiting for my turn to die. At this rate, I'll do anything to end my life. Even considering being murdered. Unfortunately, one of father's servants came and shot Saki. It was the most terrible thing that ever happened to me. I didn't know how many times that I cheated death. I was devastated.  
  
I stood at Saki's side. I look at the bloody boy. I stared at the person who I called 'brother'. Even though I have to accept the truth that he's dead, I can't. I wanted to kill him so badly myself, with my own hands. I wanted to have the satisfaction of killing the person that once threatened me.  
  
But, I had no idea how to achieve this. So, I only had one choice. I sold my soul to the devil. The only thing I had to do was kill to absorb energy. I am just like a shinigami, but alive. I learned chants, spells, even summoning. I know my life was limited so that's why I had to find a perfect body to replace Saki's one fast.  
  
Throughout the years, I caged myself inside my own laboratory. I preserved Saki's head inside a freezing device to keep it 'fresh' until a perfect substitute for his body was found. Researches upon researches were done. One day, I ransaked my late father's files and found a picture of a sickly dying man. He happened to be father's patient. He has a pair of deep purple eyes. He had the most beautiful body fit to be Saki's. I must find him. Even if it means digging his grave. 


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1  
  
"Mu..ra..ki..."  
  
"That's it boy. Remember my name. Remember it always. "  
  
Under the pale blue moon, I knew I had found somebody that had a connection with the 'person' I was looking for throughout the years. Unfortunately, I couldn't possibly look for him immediately. The boy in front of me wasn't even dead yet, but I got the feeling that he will. Soon enough.  
  
I look back at the boy. His eyes showed fear. He was trembling. The pitiful innocent look that made me remembered my darkest memories. I walked closer to him. Am I being a little 'evil'? I guess not. He saw me kill and now I want to help him die.  
  
" Don't worry, I'll give you a souvenir to remember me by.."  
  
That night, I cursed and murdered him. After three years, he'll come back. I'm sure he will. I licked my bloody fingers and crossed them. This idea of nightmare..  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Time passes by quickly. It has been awhile since I've become a doctor in this countryside. Day in and day out, I received many patients. Both old and young. Everytime I treated them, an air of sympathy fills me. Why? Why all the hard work just to live? Isn't it obvious that even if you try so hard, if it is time to die, you will die. There is no was to stop fate.  
  
"Accept the truth, Muraki," Those words from my only friend, Oriya. Yes, Saki is dead. Unfortunately, I want to revive him not because I care. It's revenge. Try to understand!  
  
The clock tower stroke eleventh times. The time has come. I walk slowly towards the large church on the hill. As I entered it, I felt a sense of tranquility. It has been such a long time since I prayed. Awkward isn't it? An evil person like me praying.  
  
"Hei, Hei, excuse me mister?"  
  
I knew it. He will come here. "Yes, can I help you?"  
  
" I'm Tsuzuki Asato. Are you Mr. Hisoka Kurosaki?" Tsuzuki looked at me with hoping eyes.  
  
"Unfortunately Mr. Tsuzuki, I am not the person you are looking for. My name is Kazutaka Muraki. You are new here, are you not?" I smiled as I offered him a tour around the town. I took the opportunity to know more about him.  
  
Tzuzuki has the same look, the same appearance as he was decades ago. Nothing changes. He is dead. I know. "More coffee?"  
  
But, he does eat a lot. Soon, it was already late and I told him to leave and search for his partner. I followed him from behind. I needed a plan to get him. Maria.. Yes, Maria. They were here to investigate the weird vampire story.  
  
Days ago, a rather old woman, visited me. She came to me with her sickly dying daughter. Unfortunately, I could do nothing more to heal her daughter's mysterious sickness. She died. The old woman couldn't accept the truth of course. Maria was like a treasure mine to her. Every time she sings, she would bring riches. Therefore the woman begged and was willing to do anything if I could find a way to bring her daughter back to life. Such people!  
  
I held up my favorite porcelain doll. The doll was a remembrance of my past. A nostalgic way of remembering nightmares, I guess.  
  
"Maria Wong. My lovely puppet. Tonight. tonight you will go to the house by the river and wait for me there.." I eyed the 26 years old singer in front of me. An air of hesitation shone on her pale skin. I knew she understood me but a sense of guilt surrounds her. Sympathy? Why should I feel sympathy for her. Nobody even cared to stop mother from torturing me. Why should I care. Besides, it wasn't my idea to revive her in the first place.  
  
"Maria, your mother promised me that if I revive you for her, I'll keep you and.." I walked around her, "..you have to do whatever I asked you to do"  
  
"But, this is all wrong.." She backed off. Poor girl. This is what happens if you are surrounded with greed and power.  
  
"Shhh.. Don't you want to live forever? To be able to sing for you fans out there? Now is you opportunity." I slowly caressed her soft skin. I stared deeply into her souless eyes. She is nothing but a walking zombie. I pushed her into coma and hypnotized her again. I didn't even know why did I have to beg from her in the first place. Soon, I watched her walk slowly down the pavement. It's a pity to know that such people still exist in this era. People who exploits, exploits and exploits. Looking at myself in the shattered mirror, all I see is a picture of a hopeless tormented soul. I couldn't do anything to help her. It's just wasn't like me to care.  
  
As the night grew darker, I waited patiently in the churchyard. Everything has gone like planned and Maria was walking closer towards Tsuzuki from behind. I know you are faking your sleep, boy!  
  
Without wasting any time I quickly did a binding spell to keep Tsuzuki in place while Maria finishes her task.  
  
"Tsuzuki!"  
  
A teenaged boy appeared from nowhere and destroyed my plans. This is rather interesting. It seemed that that boy is no other than the same person that I murdered years ago. So, he became a shinigami at last. I looked around to search for Maria.  
  
"Maria, are you alright?" Tsuzuki said as he helped Maria to her feet. I stared silently at her from a far. At last, someone who could put her out of misery. Smiling, I left the small town.  
  
Hisoka. Maybe he can help luring Tsuzuki to me. I'm not about to give up that easily. This is just the beginning. 


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 3  
  
'Man's life is hopeless. Everything that he does comes to nothing. Therefore, the idea of death is acceptable. Is that true?'  
  
No!! Get up! Get up! Must get up! When I did wake up, the sheets were all wet from my perspiration, the cold sweat of fear. What a stupid nightmare. Taking a deep breath, I looked around. The room looks familiar. How did I get here?  
  
"You shouldn't have done that, you know," Oriya's voice came from behind me. He walked back and forth the room clearing up all the existing mess.  
  
"What did I do?" I asked as I dug into the closet for a clean shirt to wear. Tossing around the clothing , I took out my favourite blue shirt.  
  
"You practically slammed you head into a sink full of razors," Oriya said angrily as he picked up all the clothing I threw around. "..and sharing room with me doesn't mean you can mess things up."  
  
Razors? That explains the bad headache. I gave Oriya a pitiful innocent look. Oriya ignored me. He walked away and returned with a hand full of bandages. Then he ordered me to sit myself down on the bed.  
  
"Don't move," I watched Oriya's clothed hands as it moves on my forehead wiping off the excess blood. After a while, he stopped and stared at me. What was he thinking?  
  
"You're kind of cute for a bad guy.." he said as he removed strains of hair from my face. I backed off. He stared at me and moved closer and closer and closer and..  
  
"That's enough, Oriya. You're going to suffocate me. Damn, I'm going to be late for work!" I rushed out of bed when the telephone rang. I'm going to get fired! "Oriya, don't answer that!" I screamed out but unfortunately it's too late. From the bathroom, I heard Oriya's voice on the phone.  
  
"Hello, granny's psychic hotline. How can I help you?" Oriya giggled as he handed the phone to me. "It's for you."  
  
I gave him an angry look and grabbed the phone from him. 'You're so mean, you know that." Still giggling he left me alone in the sitting room.  
  
"Tsuzuki! How nice to hear from you. What's up?" It's really a surprise to get a call from your enemy early in the morning. Soon, we engaged into a serious conversation. So now he realized that Hisoka went missing. I thought that the kid will be tied down to the bed until he dries up without being noticed.  
  
Now I remember. The cuts on my face didn't belong to the razors but the scratches from Hisoka's sharp nails. The boy struggles as I tried to strangle him and his screams can pierce you ears. Thank goodness I already put a spell on him before I killed him so it was so easy to take him down. After that, I added more curse on him with a special dagger so that he wouldn't escape. Not that I care if he did, but the curse seemed to look like a beautiful piece of art tattooed on a human's body.  
  
"Give back Hisoka!!" Tsuzuki's desparate voice was heard from the other end of the line. Should I give him back? No. Let's have some fun first. Twisting the colourful wires which happens to be there for some reason, I happily answered him. "Tsuzuki, why don't we meet by the river this afternoon, that's if, you want to see you partner alive." Reluctantly he agreed.  
  
"You are actually going with the reviving plan?" I look at Oriya and smiled. Yes, Oriya, I am, at any cause. Picking up the house keys, I left.  
  
"What about you work?" Oriya followed from behind me. That's it. More work.  
  
"Oriya, please. Don't remind me that I have to work."  
  
  
  
"You have got to be kidding! Take an afternoon walk, with you?!"  
  
The sidewalk was crowded with small children, adults and all kinds of people. Me on the other hand, was trying my best to cause disaster with Tsuzuki.  
  
"Well, you can go then. Maybe you have your own way of looking for people." I smiled looking at worried Tsuzuki in front of me. "But, it won't be too easy, though. I make sure that if you leave me, your Hisoka will be sliced up to small pieces by my pets." This is getting fun.  
  
Tsuzuki angrily followed from behind me. I wasted most of the time walking around the city. I even showed him the antic doll collections at the antic shop. Then, I stop. My stomach was growling with hunger. "Mr. Tsuzuki, why don't we have tea over there?" Without waiting for reply I walk towards the nearest restaurant.  
  
Soon, we sat down. I ignored Tsuzuki's anger and enjoyed myself instead. Time passed by slowly. Tsuzuki was growing impatience.  
  
"What are you trying to do?!" Tsuzuki suddenly burst up in anger. Banging the table so hard that it shook. "I'm leaving and I don't care about your threats!"  
  
Smiling, I clapped my hands. "That's a good idea. Do try to be fast because if you don't find him by six, he's going to be far from dead." Then I laughed out loud as he ran out of the restaurant.  
  
With my own technique, I reached the churchyard within seconds. I stood by the entrance waiting for Tsuzuki. At last he reached. He ran through maze-like underground tunnel.  
  
Meanwhile, I used the nearest shortcut, through the back door. Isn't it much easier if you just stop for a while and use your brains? I silently monitored Tsuzuki through Ceberus's eyes. That's it. Slowly. I looked behind me and saw Hisoka struggling trying to undo the knots. Soon, the door which has devided us broke down by a strong explosive.  
  
"Hisoka! Hisoka are you alright?!" Tsuzuki quickly untied Hisoka and put him down. Watching them made me boil up.  
  
"That's enough!" I ordered my pet, Ceberus, a three headed dragon to attack them. Victory was supposed to be mine when Tsuzuki lost most of his energy defending Hisoka. Suddenly, a fiery bird rose up from the ground. Suzaku?! The intense heat was unbearable. Soon my Ceberus was swallowed up by the flames.  
  
"I'll get you next time, Tsuzuki. It's nice playing with you." By now, my skin was almost melting. I quickly teleported myself out. Few minutes later, the building collapsed. 


End file.
